Blog #12: Asexuality - The Invisible Orientation

 By: Emily Smolock

Since International Asexuality day was last week, I thought it would be fitting to discuss Asexuality, since it is often overlooked or plain misunderstood. 

Here are the Basics -  

Asexual; Someone who does not feel sexual attraction towards anyone. 

  • Asexuality is just like any other sexual orientation and people who identify as Asexual or Ace for short, have the same emotional needs as everyone else. It is estimated that about 1% or more of the population is Asexual.

The Asexual spectrum is divided into two parts: sexual orientation and romantic orientation.

Aromantic: Someone who does not experience romantic attraction (Aka physical touch)

Demi-Sexual and Demi-Romantic: This orientation encompasses anyone who does not experience attraction to an individual until they form a significant emotional bond with them. 


Extra - The Ace Ring: A black ring, usually worn on the right middle finger, symbolizing that the wearer is Asexual. 


Ace Discrimination 

  • In countries such as Russia, Asexuality is considered a disorder/disease that can be cured. 

  • Select people in and out of the LGBTQ+ community don’t believe that asexuality is real amongst other incorrect assumptions. 

  • There is little to no asexual represenation in media and when there is, it is often portrayed as something that can be fixed.

  • Many people just think Ace’s are straight people pretending to be special, but how would being Ace make anyone by default straight when Ace’s lack the ability to find anyone of any gender sexually attractive?


Being Ace and Aromantic Myself, 

It may seem odd In a world so centered around sex and romantic relationships, but believe it or not, I have never had a crush or an attraction to anyone of any gender at all. In fact, I've never fully understood it. I mean I can admire someone’s beauty aesthetically speaking, but that's about where my feelings end. 

  • Although there is an amazing Asexual community working to spread awareness, there is only so much they can do. As a result, many young Ace’s grow up feeling like something is wrong with them or that they are broken. (which is not the case) 

My Questions to You Are: 
  1. Have you heard of Asexuality before?


  1. Should Asexuality be taught/learned about?


  1. What are your opinions on this topic in general?


- If you want to know more, I wrote an essay about Asexuality last semester! I’ll link it here.


Comments

  1. Great work, Emily. It's a simple series of questions, but your researched approached really helped transform the post into something very educational. My opinion on the topic is that Asexuality, among other lesser known *things* in our life and times, needs greater acknowledgement. You helped me realize this while also setting out the basics for those unacquainted. In particular, the distinction between sexual and romantic orientation was quite interesting.

    I know we put a lot of stress on schools in terms of 'teaching' and awareness. And maybe there should be some pressure there to integrate a fuller spectrum of sexuality and related topics into curriculum. However, in my personal experience, I learned about such issues in ways closer to home. Through parents, siblings, friends, television, movies, and of course, life experience. So maybe it's a balancing act. Representation needs to be everywhere.

    Posts like this start the conversation and move things a step forward. Thank you for sharing!

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  2. Hi Emily, I have heard of Asexuality before, but I never knew the meaning. After reading what you have written, Asexuality should be taught/learned in school because I think it would help students who might be feeling this way and are struggling to identify what they are feeling. It can also help spread awareness and help people learn more about it. Although having heard of it, I never knew what it meant, so I think it's important to be taught, and it can also help spread awareness. Thank you for sharing!.

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  3. Great topic Emily! This is not discussed enough in homes or classrooms, it might not even be mentioned at all. When we learn about the LGBTQ+ community it is important to go into depth about all the different orientations that do not get that much media coverage. I was not aware of the fact that last week was International Asexual day. With the world population being merely at 8 billion, there are a lot more asexual people in this world then we may think. Spreading light onto this subject may help others truly come into terms with who they are if they are struggling. We all live one life so it is important to live with content and pride of who you are. Thank you for doing your part of spreading awareness!

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  4. Hi Emily, This topic is amazing I'm so glad someone is talking about this! I have heard of Asexual, and a couple of my friends who are asexual have educated me on the topic, and most definitely think that asexual should be taught at schools because it can help someone realize who they are instead feeling out of place, we aren't taught much in school regarding the + in LGBTQ, which is a problem because if we learned about this early on life a lot of people wouldn't have felt lost for so long until they figure out who and what they were.

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  5. Yes, I have heard of Asexuality before, but I never knew what the word meant. It was usually a word that I have heard in a movie or a passing conversation. After reading your blog entry I have gained a new understanding of what the word means. It's refreshing that we still continue to evolve within sexualities. I do believe that we need to be taught and should learn about the aspects of Asexuality. A lot of things that we should learn or be taught get lost in translation. It's nice to know that we the people are still fighting for our representation. Thank you for spreading this awareness.

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  6. I've heard about asexuality before, and I did actually know what it meant, but your post was still really informative!! :) I appreciate you talking about this topic and including your personal experience. I do believe that asexuality should be talked about - if not at schools, then there should definitely be more information out there to learn from about this topic. Overall, I think asexuality is something that is totally valid, and asexual people deserve to be listened to when talking about this topic.

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  7. I have heard of asexuality before, a little off topic, but I give credit to you for speaking out about it as well as your own experience because this is something that needs to be discussed. Asexuality should be taught because, like you said people may grow up thinking there is something wrong with them, which is not the case. Personally I feel that this, as well as other parts of the LGBTQ community are not spoken about enough. I feel asexuality needs to be discussed more and taught.
    ~ Zoe Yllanes

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  8. Thank you for informing me on the true definition of asexuality as I was not genuinely educated on the aspects of it. It is extremely interesting to learn about different sexualities that have their own unique spectrums and differ from the normalized orientations. I believe it is extremely important that people who have aromantic tendencies still have the same emotional needs as individuals of other sexualities. I think the idea of having to develop a deep emotional connection with someone before gaining an attraction to them is a heartwarming concept. Asexuality is a significant sexual orientation that should be respected, valued and taught to everyone.

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